A society which sees her modesty or her "hang-ups" as a problem is necessarily a society which will not be able to get him to commit. Conversely, a society which respected modesty, or what now goes by "hang-ups", was one in which men were obligated.

Wendy Shalit
About This Quote

The author of the quote is a man who has a deep appreciation for the power of respect and dignity, which is what leads to commitment. One way to have respect in a relationship is to have a good understanding of what you do and don’t want. In order to get someone to commit, you have to know what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for someone who will be willing to compromise in some ways, or willing to have their wants met, then that person is not going to be the one you want.

On the other hand, if you know exactly what you want and are not willing to share it with others, then no one will ever commit. People who are willing to share with others after getting to know someone will naturally develop greater respect for them and their choices.

Source: A Return To Modesty: Discovering The Lost Virtue

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More Quotes By Wendy Shalit
  1. A society which sees her modesty or her "hang-ups" as a problem is necessarily a society which will not be able to get him to commit. Conversely, a society which respected modesty, or what now goes by "hang-ups", was one in which men were obligated.
  2. Modesty answers not the crude how of femininity, but the beautiful why.
  3. If vulgarity is a game that begins by excluding women, but ultimately excludes men from themselves, modesty is the game both can play. It begins as a woman’s game — one, interestingly, where she appears to lose, to be ‘missing out’ — but really she...
  4. After all, the more women are developed internally, the more this is threatening to a society that insists on seeing them merely externally.
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